How much to give and to whom?

An assortment of questions about tipping protocol come to mind from a tween or teen’s perspective: How much to give and to whom? When dining out why do mom or dad leave cold hard cash on the table before leaving; won’t someone swoop in and steal it? Is the money stuffed in the jar at the smoothie shop for anyone who needs it? I waited 45 minutes for my grilled cheese sandwich; do I still leave a tip?

Holiday tipping is a bit different and trickier than tipping throughout the year because it’s a way to say thanks for a job well done to an array of service providers, such as the barber, a favorite coffee shop employee, and a restaurant waiter.

Tipping is a task many adults struggle with, so how do you explain the concept to a child?

One way is to start a discussion while you’re finishing a family meal during the holidays at a favorite restaurant. Was the service prompt, friendly and attentive? Was the food warm? You might explain that some workers, such as waiters, rely on tips for a large part of their income.

Even if dissatisfied with the meal or service, still consider leaving a tip, but the Emily Post Institute recommends letting the manager know why the dining experience was disappointing.

If you have young children, let them do the math on the tip, and hand the money directly to the server. My dad taught me to be sure to say “thanks,” or “this is for you.”

While tipping is a personal choice that partly reflects financial values, here are some general guidelines on how much to pay from the Post Institute:

• Wait service at a sit-down establishment: 15% to 20% of the total.
• Food delivery: 10% to 15% of the bill.
• Food takeout: It’s common to tip 10% or just a few dollars depending on the size of the order.
• Tipping jars for service workers such as baristas and smoothie shop workers: Consider tipping if your server goes above or beyond, or offers a good suggestion on a drink. Depending on the amount, put your change in the tip jar or round out your bill with a dollar or two.
• Barber or hair stylist: Consider tipping the cost up to one appointment, with the crisp bill or check tucked in an envelope with a short personal message, such as “thanks for a fine year of grooming.”
• A tip to a ballet instructor or baseball batting coach who provides one-on-one lessons is also appropriate. A tip to the trash truck driver and crew is part of the holiday norm in many households — or failing that, express your thanks with a box of holiday cookies or candy.

Not everyone can afford these amounts, so let your kids know these are just baselines. Your final decision will be based on your budget, the quality and quantity of the service, and whether you’re a regular customer.

“Common sense, specific circumstances and holiday spirit should always be your guide,” the Post Institute said.